


There's no way back

by eyasarcher



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Clint Barton-centric, Natasha Is a Good Bro, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), avengers end game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 19:53:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16939641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eyasarcher/pseuds/eyasarcher
Summary: It's been a week since Thanos destroyed 50% of all living creatures, and the remaining Avengers think they know what to do, but they're going to need some help.





	There's no way back

“So, what you’re telling us is there’s a way to go back in time… And what? Take the infinity stone from Loki like it’s no problem?” Rhodes ponders, his tone of voice suggesting how unconvinced he is by the whole concept.

“What other options do we have?” Steve bites back, his face remaining solemn and flat.

“We don’t,” Tony says carefully, his eyes flickering to each person circled around the table.

A few hours ago, he was ready to welcome death, already coming to terms with his last thoughts being that of one Pepper Potts, who he was convinced he’d never see again. But things can change, and some decisions though they may seem small, can affect the course of history.

This is evident in the fact that he’s looking across the room at the faces of his closest friends, and the faces of whom some might consider to be aliens. But aliens or not, Captain Marvel had made one tiny decision to detour slightly on her journey to earth and check the status of a nearby ship that seemed to be drifting through space.

She didn’t know that this tiny action may change everything. And yet here Tony is, discussing the genuine possibility of travelling back in time and changing the course of events that have taken place over the last week.

“If we can find these things, Tony and I can most definitely filter out any glitches in the software, as the basic algorithm is already in place,” Bruce utters, a hopeful undertone hidden in his words.

See as Scott Lang had so kindly informed the remnants of The Avengers, whilst experimenting with Pym particles and the Quantum Realm back in the 80s, Hank Pym had made prototypes of devices that could harness the energy from the Quantum Realm, and then process this energy to stabilise a safe passage through the time vortex’s that exist within the realm.

However, his funding was cut short after his departure from S.H.I.E.L.D and soon enough agents came to take the tech, putting their claim on it and pronouncing it to be a gimmick, something that could never be safely trialled and tested.

“But the question still remains, even if we do manage to get our hands on these stabilisers, there’s a very strong possibility we would get torn apart travelling into the quantum realm, or through the time vortex,” Tony says, his face dark and heavy with fatigue. “How would we get through it without getting ourselves killed?”

At this point Carol Danvers stands a little straighter, a slight smirk beginning to pull at the corner of her lips.

“That’ll be where I come in,” she announces, catching the gaze of everyone at the table. “See the thing is, I was exposed to a quantum explosion back in the 80s, so as well as my Kree given abilities, I can also manipulate energy from the realm for short bursts. Nick Fury taught me that much.”

Scott gapes at the woman, realising exactly what that means.

“So… Technically, you could get us safe passage through the time vortex,” he suggests, a grin making its way onto his features.

Carol becomes defensive, her hands raising slightly as she feels the tension sitting heavy in the air.

“Quite probably, but I’ve never actually done it before. To clarify that fact.”

Tony once again looks around the room, his eyes instinctively finding Steve’s. They have a silent conversation, exchanging what seems like a simple glance, but is really an affirmation.

“This seems incredibly dumb,” Rocket murmurs from his place in the dead centre of the table. He’s crossed legged polishing the handle of his gun and looking anywhere but at the people surrounding him. “I know it’s our only option, but is it realistic?”

“What else have we got to lose?” Thor says carefully, the weight of his words sitting heavy on the shoulders of everyone in the room.

Rocket abruptly stops polishing the handle, looking up with sympathy plastered all over his face. He hadn’t really understood Thor’s words before, not knowing what it was like to lose the one’s you love, but now he does, and it hurts to realise.

“We need a plan if we’re really going through with this.” Rhodes pipes up again, he seems exasperated and tired. “Once again, I’ll ask, do we just expect to walk up to Loki and take the infinity stone out of his hand?! I don’t think so.”

“Well we could always-“ Steve begins, but is quickly cut off by Natasha, who suddenly emerges from where she’d been leaning against the wall in the shadows.

“We can discuss through what medium we get the infinity stone later. Right now, I think the priority needs to be finding these stabilisers.” She’s chewing on her lip, something she rarely does unless she’s feeling very unnerved. Because she knows that the tech is no longer in whatever remains of S.H.I.E.L.D’s secure vaults, which means it’s fallen into the wrong hands.

“So, anyone know where to start?” Rhodes sighs as he falls back into a chair, already feeling hopeless.

“Nope.” Scott shrugs, gaining an eyeroll from Tony and Rocket alike.

“You know they exist, but not where they are. How fantastic.” Thor spits, venom sitting heavy in his voice. He’s not been the same since returning to earth this time around, the guilt of not being able to save his people, nor kill Thanos haunts him.

“Fucking hell.” Tony hisses, his head collapsing into his hands as he thinks about the gravity of the task, he’s barely even standing up, let alone ready to scout the earth for some pieces of ancient tech that may not even work.

“Surely there’s some place we can look? Someone we can ask for help?” Steve tries, desperate to fix this vile situation. “Bruce isn’t there a signal you can trace??”

The scientist shakes his head sadly. He can track gamma radiation and most other forms of nuclear radiation, but quantum stuff is beyond his field of knowledge and is very specialised.

“God.” Steve whispers. “Someone has to know. Nat, did Fury know?? Can we look back over some of his files?”

“Yeah, good luck getting into Fury’s secret stuff. Pretty sure all of that would have self-destructed the minute he turned to dust.” Carol mumbles, earning herself a dirty look from the other captain. She simply shrugs in response.

“Look, I have a very sketchy lead.” Nat asserts, and in response to this Tony peers through his fingers curiously. “I know who they’re with, and I think I know someone that could find them, but I’m worried that my judgement may be askew.”

Steve raises an eyebrow at this exclamation. Unsurprised that Natasha’s judgement is somewhat clouded, but shocked that she would be so forthcoming about it.

“Who are they with, Nat?” Bruce coaxes, his features softening when he looks at her.

Natasha huffs and looks away for a moment, her whole body just radiating discomfort and anxiety.

“Hydra.”

Steve sighs in an exasperated manner and rolls back on his heels, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Of course it’s with Hydra, everything always comes back to them.” Rhodes curses.

“Who’s Hydra?” Rocket asks looking to Nebula who just shrugs, unphased.

“Wait… weren’t those guys wiped out decades ago?” Carol intervenes, her face crumpled in confusion.

“Do not even ask.” Thor huffs as he stares at a fixed point in space, his expression still dark.

“Look, we can follow the lead. But I’m unsure about it, it won’t be pretty.” Is all Natasha says in response her heart racing in her chest.

See for the past couple of days Natasha has been investigating the deaths of nearly 150 active Hydra agents, and apart from the 40 that had been killed in a warehouse in Toronto, all the deaths had taken place across the region of Japan within the last 48 hours.

The possibility of whom is committing these acts shakes her to the core, and brings forth a past that she’s been trying to run from. But for the sake of the universe, she knows she must pursue the lead, because if anyone is going to know where these devices are being kept, it’ll be this person.

“This is all we have.” Steve states, his words reverberating through the silence of the room.

“Then we follow it.” Tony affirms, smiling weakly.

Natasha spins on her heels and stops short, looking over her shoulder at the others.

“Then pack some bags. We’re going to Japan.”

 

 

* * *

 

Natasha treads quietly, her movements deliberate and slow. It’s a skill for anyone to tread as silently as she does, the other members of the team desperately trying to avoid creating sloshing sounds in the puddles at their feet.

In a little under four hours they’d made it to Tokyo, Natasha stating that it’s just in the nick of time. Nebula, Carol, Rhodey, and Rocket had stayed back at the compound, there was no need for the whole team to come.

So now the others find themselves even more withered and exhausted, creeping through the neon lit streets of Tokyo at quarter past midnight, and trying their best to follow Natasha’s orders and stay as quiet and stealthy as possible.

She hadn’t informed them of much, only saying that she think she knew where the next move would be made, and that they all needed to trust her. So without really thinking, they followed her blindly in the pouring rain, wondering what significance Japan has.

Suddenly as they turn a street corner Natasha sticks out her hand in a ‘stop’ gesture. They all abruptly halt, wondering what she’s seen.

Steve, who is directly behind the assassin peeks out from under his Umbrella, noting how a neon blue light is wrapping around Natasha’s face and casting shadows that only work to deepen her concerned features.

“What is it?” He whispers loudly over the sound of the rain.

She turns to face the team, and if Tony didn’t know better he’d have said that she looks scared.

“You all need to stay here, you can come out onto the street, but you do not follow me out any further,” a very serious tone is threaded through her every word, almost sounding like a threat. “And I mean it, under no circumstances do you move any closer unless I give you the signal!”

“Nat, what’s going on here?” Steve whispers, reaching out to touch the assassin who flinches away.

“I mean it. Promise me?” She’s now almost pleading, a stark contrast to her tone from mere seconds ago. “I don’t want any of you to get hurt.”

Tony frowns and looks around at Bruce who is looking equally as concerned. Thor steps into the middle of the group, his whole demeanour defensive and boxed in.

“We promise you, Natasha. But please promise us that you are not throwing yourself into immediate danger?”

Natasha smiles sadly and steps forward to place a gentle hand on Thor’s cheek, she knows that he’s worried about losing more people, and she doesn’t want to make any fake promises.

“I can’t, but I can promise you that I’m in far less danger than any of you are if you decide to go any further.”

Scott twitches nervously at this and looks out from under the shelter of his umbrella, trying to peek around the corner of the building to look out down the road.

Somewhere nearby there’s a distressed yelp, and then the thud of something hitting the ground. This puts the others even more on edge, Steve’s shoulders squaring and his head snapping up at the sound.

“Nat…”

“Trust me.”

And with that she steps out of the shadows onto the open street, her whole body changing as she begins to stride down the road. The others emerge too, but stop short at the mouth of the alley, all of them shocked at the sight of bodies littering the street.

“What the-“ Tony goes to follow her but is blocked by Thor’s arm on his chest.

Twenty or so meters down the road is a figure stood amongst the bodies, a hood encapsulates the top half of them, and in the right light you can see gold detailing against the black suit.

Said person is drawing a samurai sword against their sleeve, cleaning the obvious crimson red from it.

“This doesn’t feel right.” Bruce whispers. He shuffles nervously, wishing he could be up there with Natasha who is now alarmingly close to the dark figure.

“We have to trust her, she’ll be okay.” Steve murmurs, his eyes never leaving her.

“Plus, she’s the Black widow, she kicks ass!” Scott informs the others, trying to lighten the mood a little but instead earning himself an eye roll from Thor.

Meanwhile Natasha finally stops, she’s now only a few meters from the person and can properly study their form.

They’re donning a lightweight black stealth suit, layered up with a slightly longer hooded leather gilet, the shoulders sharp and protruding. The outfit has gold details that almost glow under the bright lights, especially the shin guards that reveal even more gold than the rest of the suit.

Natasha swallows thickly, her heart thumping in her ears. It’s been a long time since she’s seen the costume, and a sense of dread runs through her entire being.

“Its time to come home,” She says sternly, trying to put as much conviction into her voice as possible.

The figure stops short and turns slightly, their heavy breathing is visible in the air despite the mask covering their face beneath the hood.

“I have no home,” is the short reply, the voice gruff and thick with fatigue.

“You know as well as I do that that’s a lie.” Natasha says.

The suit clad man at the feet of the figure chokes out a cough and tries to roll on his back, earning himself a swift end by the hand of a samurai sword.

Bruce jumps from the other end of the street and goes to surge forward, being stopped by a solid look from Steve.

“You saw that?! We can’t just leave her!” he barks.

“Wait.” Steve demands, fingers pressing to his earpiece to listen in on the conversation. For some reason he feels somewhat hopeful about this situation.

Natasha rolls her shoulders nervously and watches as the costumed man once again cleans his sword against the sleeve of his suit.

“You shouldn’t be here,” he spits, throwing the sword into his other hand, gearing up to make an escape.

“Do you remember what you told me?” Natasha whispers, her voice soft and firm. “When you found me?”

The man’s breathing seems to slow a little, his head turning a little more as if to peer over his shoulder.

“You told me that there’s always a choice, and that choosing the right thing isn’t always the easiest path to take.” Natasha closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “I’m here to make sure that the choices you’re making, are the right ones.”

The man scoffs and snaps his head back to face forwards, a sadistic laugh echoes through the night.

“Steve.” Tony murmurs, feeling very uneasy.

“Shhh,” the captain hisses.

“It doesn’t even matter what choices I make anymore. I don’t feel anything, not even when I run a blade through the chests of these people.” The suit clad figure grunts, kicking one of the corpses at his feet.

“You’re wrong. You’re out here because you do feel.” Natasha retorts. “You’re angry, you’re grieving… You’re lonely.”

The figure sighs and rolls his shoulders in an agitated manner.

“Why are you here? I don’t want to hurt you,” he peers right over his shoulder this time, the gold lines across his mask glinting in the light. “Or them.”

Tony frowns at this, crossing his arms over his chest to halt the shudder cursing through his body. The others seem equally as unnerved and all seem to exude nervousness.

“There’s a way to get them back.” Natasha whispers, this time her voice is breaking, laced with emotions. She can’t help but think of the people that have been lost.

The man sucks in a sharp breath, his shoulders dropping a little.

“You’re lying.”

“No, I’m not. But we need you if we’re to save them, you need to come home,” she whispers, her brows furrowing with a frown.

“I can’t,” he says quietly, his voice sounding less stern and more tired.

Natasha stares at his back, memories of much darker times coming back to her. They’ve been here before, been stuck in this routine of death and destruction.

“I’ve got red in my ledger,” he hisses, his voice regaining conviction.

Nat’s blood runs cold at that, she certainly feels more out of her depth than she’d anticipated. She’d dealt with this before, but never on such a personal level.

“I can’t.” Bruce mumbles before surging forwards only to be caught in Thor’s strong arms. “Natasha!!” he screams, green threatening his vision.

“They’re worried,” the figure says, beginning to step forwards, putting distance between him and Natasha.

Ignoring every instinct in her body that is telling her to turn and run, Natasha steps forwards too, earning herself another shout from Bruce.

“We can save them. I promise, this can be undone,” she yells over the rain. “Please, Ronin. Listen to me.”

Ronin stops in his tracks, and for a while he doesn’t move, pondering on the use of that alias. From anyone else it wouldn’t sound so personal; this suit is meant for stealth and secrecy. This identity was created to remove personal affections and emotions.

But from Natasha, he just can’t escape. He can’t hide and he can’t run, she’ll always find him, and if she doesn’t manage to bring him in, they’ll only end up trying to kill each other.

“Why didn’t you call in?” he whispers, his voice weaker.

“We’ve all lost people. I know I should have called, but things have been… tough.” Natasha states, the frown still sitting heavy on her features. “Look, this isn’t you anymore-“

“Don’t belittle me.” Ronin bites, his hand grasping the sword twitching a little.

“You know that’s not what I’m doing,” she snaps. “I know you, I know what you’re capable of, I know your skills are overlooked. But I also know that you’ve moved past this. You don’t need to use violence as a coping mechanism.”

He laughs again, reaching up to push off his hood.

“That’s rich, coming from you.”

“Do not push me, Ronin!” Natasha barks, her face shadowed with anger. “We’re separate people, you and I. But we’re a team, we always have been. I’m here to bring you home, and you’re going to comply!”

“And if I don’t?!” he shouts into the dark.

“Then they’ll stay dead,” she grunts.

Ronin turns a little, a shiver seems to run through his body as he jerks a little. His breathing picks up, this is evident in the air.

“We have a plan. You’ve been taking out Hydra agents and regaining S.H.I.E.L.D’s old tech. I know you’ve got your own agenda, but I bet you’ve come across some of Pym’s stuff.”

“So what if I have?” Ronin shrugs and sighs, once again rolling his shoulders.

“What’s she doing?” Steve hisses.

“Remember cap, we gotta trust her.” Tony says, his voice not really upholding any conviction.

“Danvers is back, and as you can see, so is Lang. Tony and Bruce can fix up Hank’s old tech, and Danvers can harness enough energy to create a safe passage into the past. We can go back.”

At this Ronin’s whole posture changes, his head snaps round and Natasha is sure that he’s looking her right in the eyes.

“But how?” he whispers.

“That’s where you come in, we need your help to get Pym’s quantum stabilisers. I know that you know what they look like, and quite probably where they are.” Natasha says, as Ronin twists back around.

He sighs heavily, his head dropping slightly between his shoulders, and his hand goes lax so that the sword slips lightly in his grip. He reaches up, prompting Bruce to push forwards again, this time he escapes Thor’s grip and starts to run, worried for Natasha.

But Ronin pulls off his mask, looking over his shoulder at the sound of Bruce’s rapid footfall which abruptly stops when his identity is revealed.

Clint looks quite different to the last time the team saw him. Dark bags cling to his lashes, and his face is littered with small bruises and scratches, his hair is shaven on either side and is dripping wet from the rain.

“Wait, that’s Hawke-“ Scott starts.

“Clint.” Steve whispers, stepping forward a little, failing to hide the shock on his face.

Clint looks past Natasha, meeting Bruce’s eyes and then looking back to the others. He lets out a heavy sigh and turns his gaze back to his partner.

“There’s no promise this could work though, right?” He questions, his eyes betraying him as they shine with pain and grief.

“No. It might not, but isn’t it worth a try?” Natasha says carefully, closing the space between them. She reaches out very slowly and gently turns Clint around to fully face her. “I’m so sorry, Clint,” she whispers, her hand reaching up to cup the man’s unshaven cheek.

His breath hitches a little at the touch, his eyes closing as a single tear camouflages itself with the rain. Clint reaches up with his own gloved hand, timidly clutching Natasha’s.

“I just wanted something normal, I’ve been running for as long as I can remember. All I can remember is violence, I just wanted something mundane,” his voice is wobbly as he reopens his eyes. “Guess I don’t deserve a family.”

Tony marches forward at that, dropping the umbrella. He’d been able to catch what Clint had said through Natasha’s earpiece, and his emotions got the better of him. Within seconds he was near to the pair, causing Clint to reel back from Natasha, clearly not prepared for interaction outside of her.

“You’re an idiot, Clint Barton!” he starts.

“Tony-“ Nat tries.

“No!” The billionaire stomps forward, pushing past Natasha and prodding Clint dead in the chest, prompting the assassin to raise his sword a little.

 “Why don’t you think you deserve them!? Because you’ve killed people!? Because you’ve done bad things!? Because you went against the accords!? Because people taught you that you don’t deserve nice things!? Don’t be an idiot, Clint! We’ve all done bad shit, we’ve all done things we regret, but that doesn’t mean we don’t deserve happiness! Give yourself some credit, Barton! Without you we wouldn’t have saved the world from Ultron; we wouldn’t have recruited Wanda, S.H.I.E.L.D probably would’ve have fallen much, much earlier, Natasha would be dead, the world would be much a darker place. Clint take this rage and this pain, and channel it into saving your goddamn family!!”

Clint seems a little shocked, and with that he quickly sheaths his sword back into its scabbard and darts forward to embrace Stark in a hug, something that the now shaking Tony welcomes.

“We’re going to save them.” Tony whispers, his minding drifting back to Peter and Strange. “All of them.”

**Author's Note:**

> So hello! It's been a while since I've posted on here, how is everyone after watching that trailer?? Ruined, because same.  
> Now I'm quickly going to go over some stuff.  
> I'm aware this one shot doesn't necessarily follow the same timeline as the trailer seems to show, and I'm not trying to. Essentially since watching the trailer all I've wanted to do is write and angsty Ronin fic, so I wrote this piece. It's probably not going to be compliant with the timeline of the mcu, and this piece isn't meant to be me trying to predict what story end game will follow, this was just me mucking around.  
> Also, I'm not a scientist, so excuse for any plot holes referring to the science of the MCU.  
> And I've never read a Captain Marvel comic (oops) so please excuse her character probably being way off. I know she got her powers from Mar-Vell, but in this I've made it so her plane got caught in a quantum explosion caused by Pym fucking around, and Mar-Vell protected her from it, therefore bonding his DNA w/ hers + allowing her to harness some energy from the realm. I know, it's dumb.  
> But anyways, I hope you all like this short piece, and I'm sorry for any typos, I don't have a beta reader.  
> Thanks for any comments and kudos!!!!  
> love, Sophie xo  
> P.S I was listening to doomed by Bring Me The Horizon, hence the title.


End file.
